I see lots of parents right now feeling the pressure to provide a constant stream of structured activities to keep their kids entertained throughout the summer break. We’re feeling like we need to be “Disneyland parents,” as constant momentum and packed schedules is the norm for most of us. However, providing unstructured (and screen-free) time in the day has so many benefits for kids of all ages.
It’s important for kids to have the experience to decide for themselves how to use periods of unstructured time. Boredom gives kids the opportunity to find ways to engage in the world around them. If we always direct that time for them, they never learn to manage it for themselves, and they will continue to depend on others (or screens) to fill it for them.
Unstructured time gives kids the opportunity not only to explore their outer worlds, but to engage in their inner world as well. This is needed for kids to develop creativity and imagination. Kids simply need space and mental rest in order to invent, and create, and imagine. When kids can tolerate and embrace feeling bored, they give themselves space to daydream, and that sparks innovative ideas and thoughts. It’s in this space where kids can explore and pursue where their own interests and passions lie, and finding these things is key to having a meaningful life.
Unstructured playtime is also essential for kids to process their feelings and to expel the stress and anxiety that builds up from events in their day and life. Play is children’s work. It’s the one place where kids can feel totally in control (how important during a time when we don’t have a lot of control in the world around us). So, encourage deep, meaningful child-led play, as it is an essential part of children’s resiliency and emotional health.
As I’m sure many parents are experiencing first hand right now, it is difficult for most kids today to simply “be still”. They are so used to screen time entertainment and structured, extra-curricular activities piled on top of their regular school day. With over-scheduled and unbalanced days, kids haven’t really practiced looking within themselves for direction, and they’re not used to finding things to do with their own time.
So next time your kids say they’re bored, remind them (and yourself) that it’s not a bad thing to be still. If your child needs support, it’s okay to give them some ideas to get them started (e.g., go find shapes in the clouds, build a fort, write a letter to grandpa, make up a tongue twister, teach yourself to juggle, make a pinata, or robot, or obstacle course etc.). Then shift the responsibility back to your child. Ultimately, we don’t have to solve the problem for them right away. In fact, after ensuring that your child has sufficient time to connect with you in the day, giving them some space to handle unstructured time head-on might just be one of the best things you can do for them.
