Let’s face it. Bedtime with kids can be chaotic.
After a long day of work, school, extracurricular activities, dinner, and everything else that comes with family life, most parents are ready for a little downtime. But just when you’re looking forward to some peace and quiet, your child suddenly needs another glass of water, acts out, remembers something important, or insists they’re not tired.
As a child psychologist working with families across Edmonton (and as a parent myself), I know bedtime can often be the most demanding part of the day. Kids often resist, push boundaries, and struggle to settle, especially when parents are already exhausted.
But it’s important to remember that bedtime isn’t just about sleep. It’s also about separation. In our work with Edmonton families, we often see that nighttime feels daunting because it’s the longest stretch of time kids spend away from their parents.
For many kids, saying goodnight means separating from the people they feel safest with.
Here are five tips to make bedtime a little smoother.
1. Create a Predictable Routine
Kids thrive on predictability. A consistent sequence of activities, such as bath, pyjamas, brushing teeth, stories, and lights out, helps children know what to expect. Visual schedules can be especially helpful for younger kids.
2. Prioritize One-on-One Connection
After a busy day, bedtime may be the first opportunity your child has had for your undivided attention. Sometimes, what looks like bedtime resistance is really a child asking for a little more connection before saying goodnight.
Build in 10-15 minutes of connection before lights out. Read together, cuddle, chat about the day, or simply enjoy being close.
Connection before separation can make saying goodnight easier.
3. Start Winding Down Earlier
Transitioning from a busy day to sleep takes time. Reduce stimulating activities, dim the lights, turn on soft, calming music, and avoid rushing through bedtime.
Giving kids time to shift gears can help their bodies and minds prepare for rest.
4. Set Clear, Warm Boundaries
It’s okay for kids to want another story or one more hug. Acknowledge their feelings while maintaining predictable limits.
Try saying, “I know you wish you could have another story. I love reading with you too. It’s time for sleep now, and we can put that book in a safe place to read tomorrow.”
Warmth and consistency can go hand in hand.
5. Stay Mindful of Your Own Stress
Bedtime resistance can be frustrating, especially when you’re exhausted.
Kids pick up on our emotional tone. Slowing your voice, staying calm, and approaching resistance with curiosity rather than frustration can help prevent bedtime battles from escalating.
Remember, the Goal Isn’t a Perfect Bedtime
Some nights will still be messy. Kids will resist, siblings will argue, and bedtime will take longer than planned.
The goal isn’t perfect cooperation. It’s creating a predictable, connected, and emotionally safe routine that helps your child settle into sleep.
If your child needs some extra bedtime support, we’re happy to help. We have a great team of therapists who specialize with kids. Whether it’s just asking a question or booking an appointment, you’re welcome to email, call or submit a message to us using our website contact form.
Wishing you calmer and more connecting evenings ahead!
Dr. Jennifer Gordon
